30 Bucks or Best Offer by Michael Eichenbaum

I like the swordfighting metaphor a lot, both for its swashbuckling charm and the latent metaphorical energy inherent in the willful crossing of blades (have at thee, indeed) but it has a specific value beyond that. I think a lot of times people use the metaphor of a fortress, they see their mental world as a barbican to be defended, a stone embankment which can only be beaten by long siege or determined assault. But a healthy mind doesn't work that way - it is not an impervious barricade, but a web of active stances interwoven into a guard. Attack exposes as much as it opposes. A naked blade is also a bared throat. The human brain carefully assesses the risk of conflict against the social benefit of taking a brave stance in front of your homies, and does the math. It doesn't always do the math *right* but it does do it.

This peculiarity is particularly emphasized on the internet, where people can convince themselves that they have a huge audience (they're right there, just out of frame, laughing *with* me) and where no one involved is really incentivized to moderate. After all, a bloodbath is way more fun than an exhibition bout. It's implicitly and explicitly understood by social media platforms themselves that for all their weasel-hearted mealy-mouthings about content moderation, hatred, contempt, envy are the real products they sell. Why go online if there's no one you hate there?

The knives come out, all day, every day, and the gutters run, but for some reason, no one ever dies, the libidinal urge is endlessly invoked but never quenched. The ritual of blood never fuckin finishes. Must be the SSRI’s.

No wonder everybody's crazy now.

Anyway moral of the story is I have a saber for sale, 30 bucks or best offer - M.E.

Michael Eichenbaum is 22 years old and a Gilroy native. He is a frequent contributor to, most notably, his Notes app. Primary outlets for existential consternation include anonymous social media posting, saxophone, and lounging at coffee shops having impassioned discussions about what spacefaring extraterrestrials would look like. He desires to live with joy and give with joy.