Letter to my parents by Kalea Ancheta

Letter to my Parents

(Based off a friend)

"What the hell is wrong with you?" You guys asked me at 2:47 pm. You're right, there's definitely something wrong with me. You always talk about how you both looked after me, cleaned, cooked, whatever. Yeah I really appreciate it, but y'all seem to not understand that my mental health has nothing to do with them.

You guys separated before I was even born so I don't really give a shit anymore. It's pretty much bound to happen to teen parents

Anyways I would like to introduce myself if someone else besides my family happened to find this. My name is God, yes I'm not joking. People always have some shit to say about it so maybe I'll change it.

Religious people have attacked me like I picked my name after popping out my mom's urethral opening.

I would say I'm quite a shy person on the inside but I hate being this way. Maybe I shouldn't have picked alcohol as a way to cure it.

Sometimes I'll just feel extremely empty, so I'll call some buddies to hang out and drink downtown. I don't wanna end up like almost everyone in the family. No one in my family knows about my alcohol abuse, until now. But hey, at least I ain't doing crystal meth from a bald dude named Walter White.

My 8-year-old half sister Angeline always looked up to me. It's really been motivating to quit drinking until I black out. When will be the day I drink and drink and I can't drink anymore? When I black out forever? I'm not going to be selfish so I did find help.

Sometimes it breaks my heart when Angelina

accidentally calls me papa. It might have to do with how our dad works so much that now Angeline thinks of me as the father figure. I let her give me makeovers, push her on the swing, make her dinosaur chicken nuggets. I don't think it's your fault dad, working 3 jobs. We live in a very expensive place called California, ever heard of it?

I'm a very secretive guy so I'm sorry for not telling you all sooner. All my friends know me as the always happy guy, the guy that jokes around and likes to partyyy! But nah it's really hard to know if you really know something. Which really puts things into perspective. Staying at rehab opened my eyes to how anyone, even if they seem like the most perfect person could be seriously damaged.

Someone like this girl I met not long ago. She's absolutely beautiful inside and out, the way she carries herself is truly unique. You would never guess the things that happened under that smile.

So I think everyone should just be more aware, make it your goal to make the day of someone else's.

This may be bittersweet to read, but I know at this point what I want in life. Going sober isn't easy, I try not to think with my feelings. The difference between being me a failure and failing is that if I was a failure, I'd never show up to rehab, never do anything and accept my "fate".

I gotta remember this is my one chance of living and it is I who is controlling that fate.

I want to thank you for reading my "Ted talk" and thank you for everything you do for more. I probably haven't said this in years but I love you both so much.